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Monday, August 29, 2016

Act 7; Scene 2: In Which Robert is Scolded by a Crazy German Lady

This past Saturday Robert and I finally had a chance to go to the temple together.

We were so excited! We decided to do sealings (in which family members who have passed away are sealed together for time and all eternally vicariously through us), since we still had some time restrictions in our afternoon.

Now, I knew that sealings are sometimes tricky for me when I am pregnant. There is a lot of kneeling involved, and that tends to cut off my circulation and make me pass out. But! I was not feel nauseous or sick in any way, and I am not too big yet, so I figured it would be ok. I even still (barely!) fit into my temple dress :-).

The temple was surprisingly empty for a Saturday afternoon in Utah Valley. We were sent right into a room and got to work. Things were going well--we were switching it up a lot which helps everyone's knees. Midway through, a woman came in on her own. She was one of those types of people who you could tell the moment she walked into the room was a little...well...crazy.

Perhaps crazy is too strong a word? She pointed to the sealer and said, "You know who I am!" He said he did indeed, then politely asked her to remind him of her name. She told him, then continued to tell us all how she was from Berlin. And that she was just like everyone in the room--God's children are all the same, German or not. 

Anyhow, the session was progressing on, and Robert and I were doing some couples. I was feeling just fine! Then all of a sudden as I was kneeling there, I realized I was starting to feel a little nauseous. Then very hot. We were right in the middle of a sealing. "I can make it to the end!" I thought. About 2 seconds after I thought that, my vision started clouding over, and I realized there was no way I was going to make it to the end of that ordinance. I stood up abruptly and said, "I'm not going to make it." 

All I really wanted was to get out of that stuffy room and get some fresh air. But the minute I stood up, Sister Damsch hurried over to take my pulse, while telling us she was a German RN. She quickly declared that I had no pulse! Told me to sit down, look up, and hurried away to get me a drink of water (the water part I was very grateful for!) and some tissues, with which I started to fan myself, because I was so hot. 

She told me if it got any worse, I would need to lay down and put my feet up on the chairs. And to never, NEVER keep my head above my feet as I lay down. 

I was cooling down and feeling better, so the sealer proceeded with another couple. Sister Damsch sat across from me, eyeing my every move. After the ordinance, she came to sit by me, "Because you are not looking up, you are looking down. You need to look up!" 

I dutifully looked up. Good thing there's a pretty chandelier and gold designs to look at. 

As she sat there she tried to find my pulse again. For some reason she was not great at finding it....

Then she discovered that I was pregnant. "That explains everything!" she whispered.
"Yes," I whispered back. She asked if it was my first. When I told her it was my 3rd, she told me she also had three children. 

This time as soon as the ordinance was over, she stated to everyone, "She is pregnant! When is the last time you ate?" Lunchtime, I replied. She looked at her watch. "That was three hours ago! You need to eat every two hours, even if it is an apple or banana. You are eating for two now, you need to eat every two hours!" 

Not sure what I was supposed to do with this, but nod and say ok. (And we all know that I am not really eating for 2. I am eating for one and maybe 1/8, if even that. But trust me, I definitely get the every two hour thing. And I'm pretty good about that one!)

We did a few more sealings, then the sealer announced that there were no more daughters to do. So Sister Damsch got up to leave. On her way out she stopped in front of Robert, who was acting as a witness. She basically towered over him because he was sitting (and she was no small cookie either). She put her finger right in his face and shook it at him. Their conversation went something like this:

Sister D: "She is pregnant!'
Robert: (completely taken aback and red in the face) "I know she's pregnant" (after which another brother whom I think was starting to feel uncomfortable said "well that's a good thing!, ha ha")
Sister D: "She needs to eat every two hours, even just a bite!"
Robert: "Tell her that!"
Sister D: "No, you are her husband! You need to take care of her! She is eating for two! She needs to eat every two hours, even if it's an apple, or a banana. You make sure she gets it! You take care of her!"
Robert: "I do, I will"

At this point Robert was sounding very consternated. I thought he might loose his cool right there in the temple, over this funny, sweet, crazy German lady. This is the point where I said to him,

"It's ok! it's ok!"
and we all laughed appreciatively, as Sister Damsch turned to me and told me to take care, and headed out the door.

I think we all laughed for a bit after she left, simply because we had to. And I must say, the sight of Robert's face turning bright red and him getting frustrated at this funny lady really made me laugh! Especially when we are so ultra-aware that I eat very often--in fact it's one of my main complaints to Robert. 

Who knew that we would would come to the temple, and Robert would be chastised (for no good reason!) by a crazy German lady!!

To be fair, she was very sweet and attentive. Just a bit overbearing. Like I said, perhaps crazy is too strong a word? 

But that vision of her looming over Robert wagging a finger in his tomato-red face will stay with me forever!

I love you, Robert!!!!

(At least YOU'RE not the one who nearly passed out!)

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